Adam's First Day

 So I did it. I dropped my baby off for his first day of preschool. I dropped him off for his first day of his academic career. Academic career? Yes, it sounds so "grown-up", but it's true, that's what it is. His academic career starts now. At the ripe age of 2, almost 3. I am having quite a time of it as I was not 100% ready to let him go, but as he put it last week so plainly, "I have to go, Mom. You have to let me go." OUCH! Yes, I know this. I know that at some point I have to let him go, but he's only 2, almost 3! If I had listened to his pediatrician's advice he would be starting his 2nd year of preschool this year, but really? 2? That seems a bit young, no? I know he will be fine, he's a Haselby/Krintz.  The problem I may be having is that I am a control freak. Yes, I said it. Now you all know my 1 flaw. I am a control freak! I can not control what he's doing, who he's talking to, what he's learning, eating, playing with...the list is endless. I have no control of my son for 5 hrs a week and I really do think I may go nuts. Really. Medication may be in my future as the time he is out of my control gets longer and longer. But he is fine. I know he is fine. He did fine. The very first day Dad and Jace and I went with. I was the only Mom in a room full of Moms taking pics with their IPhones and Blackberries with my big DSLR. What do I care it's my baby's first day of the rest of his life, and do you know what, they wished they had brought their big cameras, too! So the second day was a bit different. I walked him up the steps and through the door, helped him hang his coat and backpack and that was it. He was gone. I had to actually ask for a kiss. ASK! He ran back saying, "Oh sure, Mom. I forgot." Forgot? Really? My Mama's boy FORGOT to give his Mama a kiss? OUCH! All in all it was a good first week for him. He has already brought home a couple of pieces of artwork to be displayed on the fridge and is all amped up for next week to "see what we will learn". I suppose I am ready too, just to see what we will learn!

 

Jace helped Adam get ready for the first day with a hearty breakfast. Pretty hearty, huh? He only a had a couple of bites of his shredded wheat and he was up and at 'em. Ready to go take on the world. I can remember those first day butterflies. Not so much my younger years, but the older ones. The anticipation of the first day always got me so worked up and then nothing. Nothing exciting ever happened. Well, until my sophomore year. That's the year I met my Brocky! 

 

The first photo. I am assuming next year's photo will be the same as we haven't found the house of our dreams yet here in this new town so we decided on the front steps. Seems like a good spot. I don't really recall where or even if we had first day photos taken or we would have done that same spot. You know, keep the tradition going in this old house. Starting a new tradition I suppose!

Adam was so ready to get in the car that he really started to get mad at me and the camera. Usually this little man is saying take another and another, but not this day. He was ready for school, man!

I got the thumbs up when the car seat was buckled and we were ready to go. At this point I am holding it together quite well. Really, no tears were shed prior to leaving for school at all. It was only a matter of time though. As we got closer and closer to the church my tough exterior started to crumble and at each of the 3 stoplights between here and there I got a little bit more anxious. All the while saying, "Are you sure you want to go to school? You can stay home with Mommy if you want to." "I have to go, Mom." Not the response I was looking for.

This one means quite a bit to me. Adam walking up the steps to school all by himself. But if you notice in the window is my reflection. As I was taking this photo I thought I would just crop myself out, but once I got to looking at it my reflection held meaning. He's not alone. I'm always there. I know I have done a good job with this little man and I am always with him. In his head he can hear me reminding him what is right and wrong, good or bad. I know this because I have a little voice in my head. In my head though, it is my own Mama's voice. I still hear her to this day reminding me of what is right and wrong. I worked hard to get to that place with Adam and will continue to do so so that when I drop him off for his first day at Kindergarten, Junior High, High School, and some day college I will do so with complete confidence that he knows I am always with him. All's he has to do is listen. Weird? No. That's the kind of relationship I have with my mother and she had with hers and she had with hers. And I strive everyday to have with my children.

It was like the movie Rocky. The scene where he is running up the steps while training and finally makes it to the top and starts cheering for himself with this huge grin. This "I can conquer the world!" grin. That's how it was. Like slow motion as he climbed those steps and when he reached the top and looked back at me with this^ smile on his little face, I lost it.

Mrs. Doll met him at the door to his classroom and helped him take of his coat and backpack. She showed him where his hook was. I was anxious at this point not so much to get in to the classroom and see what they had in store for him, but (here's the control thing again) to know who this Addie girl was. Who is this child that will be sharing his hook. Will she be nice to him. He's very sensitive, what if she is mean to him. How will he handle it? Over the course of like 2 minutes all of this is going through my head (like I said medication???) I realize it doesn't matter if she is nice or not. She's not my kid. My kid is nice. And we have taught him that it doesn't matter if someone likes you or not. There are just some crabby people out there. He will be fine. And if he's not then Addie better watch out because this control freak mama is not above yelling at small bratty children.

OK, so this was the kicker. My little boy standing in the doorway of his very first classroom. Feet planted to the floor like he stepped in crazy glue. Uncertainty written all over his little face. But not for more than a second...

Just as I was about to take his hand he took a step. And then another and then another and then he was gone. Into a world of paints and numbers and books, big apple tree walls, and homemade instruments. Into a world where Mom and Dad are not the bosses for 5 hrs a week and sharing is a must. Into a world where one little boy can appear to be all alone for the first time, but in all reality he is not. His Mama's always with him, and he with her.